LantisJournal

IN MEMORY OF LOST TIME SLACKING ON LJ.

by MK & Ana_grrl

A Stargate: Atlantis crack!fic, multiple pairings.

AN: You'll notice that we're mixing first and second season characters and events indiscriminately. Because we can. This came out of the mass of super-annoying LJ downtime on November 4th. There are no major spoilers here. There's a small reference to The Storm/The Eye (season 1) but other than that and some character names, it's spoiler free.

Blue links are fake! Red links or purple links are real and have additional content for your perusal.

   When you transport a large body of nerds to a different galaxy, you have to expect that they’ll miss some of the comforts of home. Favourite DVD collections (even if they did have everything downloaded to back-up hard drives), SciFi Fridays, their book collections, figure collections, memorabilia collections and, most of all, the internet. So obviously Rodney set up a local AtlantisNet pretty quickly. Every person in the expedition had an allotment of personal space and a large portion of space was dedicated to various in-city net programs, including the bane of Rodney’s existence: LantisJournal.

    “That is the single most moronic name I have ever heard. It was Ford’s idea, wasn’t it?” Sheppard had shrugged and Rodney had grumbled, set up some basic infrastructure and then refused to have anything more to do with it out of sheer disgust.

    Of course, it wasn't so simple. Rodney couldn't help it – he lurked on LantisJournal, reading the various bitching, moaning, and whining of the scientists. And then the military contingent got in on it too (he blamed Ford – it was always Ford), and it got worse.

    LantisJournal stopped being a place for whining about coffee, complaints about going off-world, and laments about being unable to keep up with the details of the upcoming Transformers movie. Suddenly the military personnel were starting up communities like

offworld_survival and

guns_and_me, and Rodney was just –

Lurking. He was lurking. He was reading the posts from

P90AOK and

taptapboom, and wanting to leave scathing responses.

    Unfortunately, from the beginning, he'd set up LantisJournal to reject anonymous posters. It kept the flaming down, he'd reasoned. And of course, of course, it was just coming back to bite him in the ass.

    Two weeks into the expedition, he caved.

physics_god.lantisjournal.com was born.

*****

Quickly, Rodney adapted what was probably the most efficient and effective use of the journal program. He made a few cursory, typified posts based on those of various members of his science team. They were designed to be average but witty, to have no content that could allow another reader to associate this

physics_god with Dr. McKay. And then he immediately Colleague-Locked the journal so that he could post notes to himself, or back up data on it.

    He even made a Colleagues Only image of a ZPM for his top entry using ASCII. It was smart, clean, simple.

    And he could finally tear apart the logical fallacies, gaping oversights and incredibly flawed theories and thoughts posted on the journals and communities he perused most often.

    Some journals were easily or even openly associated with their creators—

taptapboom.lantisjournal.com was obviously Cadman (and said as much on her userinfo);

a_ford.lantisjournal.com was as simple as only Ford could be, and if some peon didn’t catch on because of the username, Ford’s entries would fill in the gap;

elvi$.lantisjournal.com was Grodin and if people didn’t know why, they could thank their lucky stars.

There were the occasional names that Rodney hadn’t been able to match to faces until he had hacked the user database. (He was technically still the administrator, so no one could argue against him.) Why Sheppard had decided on

princesspeach.lantisjournal.com was beyond him.

"I do not understand why you are obsessed with this electronic method of communication," Teyla said one afternoon, as Rodney (logged into as

physics_god but carefully concealing his screen from her) wrote comment after comment to ridiculous, inane posts.

    "It's a way to share ideas that we can't talk about in person," Rodney muttered, not really paying attention. "And we're geeks. We like the electronic interaction. Don't ask me why the military logs in. I think they just want to talk about bombs and guns and pathetic military yardsticks."

    "Perhaps I should further investigate this," Teyla said.

    "Be my guest," Rodney waved at free laptop. "You'll need a name."

    Fifteen minutes later,

fights_with_sticks.lantisjournal.com friended him.

    Absently, he friended back.

    "I wish to make a community," Teyla announced half an hour later. "I believe your people are woefully lacking in knowledge about the cultures in this galaxy. Perhaps if there was a community where we could discuss cultural encounters it would assist you in future missions."

    "Sure, sure," Rodney said, typing out a response to

P90AOK (No, 'kewl' is not sufficient language for LantisJournal posts, we are not pathetic teenagers. Well, maybe you are, but if that's the case, you shouldn't be here).

Ten minutes later, he received an invitation to join

pegasus_encounters.

The next day, his collegue-page was flooded with explicit material. Of a very personal nature. Of a pick up kind of nature.

It was alternately disturbing, hot, and annoying. Disturbing, because who knew that Atlantis personnel would be that quick to jump on an opportunity to talk sex? People were more hard up than he'd figured. Hot, because. Wow. Some of the posts. And the one from

princesspeach?

Mindblowingly hot.

callmemajor had a pretty evocative little post too. Rodney actually blushed when he read the description of an encounter on a lower level.

It was annoying because he couldn't act on them. Not without revealing his identity as

physics_god.

He'd have to set up a new LJ. Or come out of the LJ closet.

And also, he'd have to talk to Teyla about exactly why '

pegasus_encounters' was not going to do what she'd hoped it would. "Cultural exchanges my ass," he muttered to himself, as he scrolled down the screen.

He wasn't looking forward to explaining things.

fights_with_sticks was scary when she was annoyed.

*****

    Technology changed the world around you. Rodney knew that. And he knows that after the start of pegasus_encounters, people started smirking when someone especially Teyla, mentioned 'cultural exchange'.

    "I believe we must concentrate on cultural exchanges," Teyla said to Elizabeth during a post-mission briefing. The mission had been what Rodney would classify as a complete disaster.

    "If we took the time to fully understand potential allies, there would not be such problems in the future." She glared at Sheppard as she spoke. "Many times it is not a question of one encounter. We need to be willing to spend several days and make repeat visits. Cultural exchanges do not take place within a matter of hours."

    "No," Rodney muttered to himself. "It can be a few minutes, if you're rushed."

    He looked up to find Elizabeth glaring at him, and Sheppard clearly fighting to keep a smirk off his face. "What?" he asked. "I agree. Cultural exchange contributes to um. Cohesion. And a sense of wellbeing. We should give it a lot of time and effort. Even during our off time."

    Beside him, Sheppard choked.

    Rodney was thinking about

princesspeach's latest post on pegasus_encounters.

And he was wondering if

callmemajor had read it too.

*****

In addition to scorching hot cyber sex on his colleague-page, Rodney found his inbox suddenly inundated with a flood of comments from

a_ford. “Comments” was as loose a term as he was willing to apply to the inane blatherings of Lieutenant Ford in response to Rodney’s carefully crafted standard public posts.

Resigned, he gave up on being anonymous only to be flooded with community name ideas from (surprise, surprise) Ford.

a_ford	21:36 AST [no comment title] okay, what about a com for recipes? Like… melting_pot.lantisjournal.com. it’d be really cool, right?
physics_god	21: 38 AST Re: [no comment title] Are you trying to prove your stupidity? We’re light years away from Earth without access to precious commodities like chocolate! That would be an exercise in extreme masochism!
princess_peach	23:18 AST Re: masochism? and you’d know all about…. masochism?
taptapboom	23:29 AST Re: masochism? You’ve got the completely wrong idea. The man can’t even handle sleeping naked.
princess_peach	23:32 AST Re: masochism? !?! how do you know that?! what are you, some kind of space-slut?
taptapboom	23:35 AST Re: masochism? Uh, did you even look at my userinfo? Shared a body with him (extremely unwillingly and in a completely non-sexual way) for several days? I know more than most people want to about Rodney.
princess_peach	23:36 AST Re: masochism? so totally a space slut then.
a_ford	21:40 AST Re: [no comment subject] What about censored_missionreports? Come on, that’d be awesome, Doc.
physics_god	21:42 AST Re: [no comment subject] There are so many reasons that is wrong and, given your profession, I mistakenly assumed you would recognize them alongside the inherent dangers. Translation: That’s a really bad idea.
	[Reply]

   The pegasus_encounters community eventually moved from detailing fantasies to all out cybersex. Rodney figured Elizabeth and Sheppard tolerated it because 1) they were both posting and 2) it was good for morale. Rodney couldn't disagree with the second reason, and the first reason made for some entertaining reading. Still, he started to feel a little disappointed in princesspeach's posts on the community. Where Sheppard had put some pretty scorching descriptions of his various pre-Atlantis encounters up there (including one that convinced Rodney – beyond all reason – that hiding in a camel shed could actually lead to some pretty hot sex), his actual ability to hold realtime cybersex conversations was stunted.

    It was a crying shame. Rodney partially attributed it to Ford butting in and making wisecracks at annoying points that really lost the flow of the whole thread.

callmemajor, on the other hand, was a pleasant surprise. And in between off-world missions, getting shot at, various injuries, ZPM anxiety, fixing the small (and huge) problems that are apparently never ending, and really, really boring bouts of mess hall food, Rodney – or more precisely,

physics_god – developed a very hot, very entertaining cybersex relationship.

Sure, he wasn't exclusive with

callmemajor, but some days he might as well have been.

And one afternoon, after a particularly loud argument with the botanists (no, the plants from P4X-019 were not, in fact, demonstrating their knowledge of basic physics equations), and an annoying and embarrassing mistake on his whiteboard (in his own hand writing no less), Rodney finished an exceptionally scorching exchange with

callmemajor.

   The exchange had featured an off-world sex club with a suitably ridiculously named gloryhole (the Orifice of Devotion to the Gods – honestly, when would people in the Pegasus galaxy just own up to the fact the they were a little sex crazed, instead of pretending to be god obsessed?), an orgy in the background, and many rough-hewn tables specifically made with fucking in mind. The only thing that could possibly have made the mental image hotter would have been the inclusion of some hot, curvaceous, blonde scientists.

   At the end, Rodney wrote:

physics_god	17:03 AST Subject: Re: Orifice of Devotion to the Gods …if I wasn't in a public lab right now, I'd be humping my desk. And wishing it were rough-hewn.
callmemajor	17:05 AST Subject: Re: Orifice of Devotion to the Gods Yeah? Smirks Off-world missions have their advantages.
physics_god	17:07 AST Subject: Re: Orifice of Devotion to the Gods Until you get shot.
callmemajor	17:10 AST Subject: Re: Orifice of Devotion to the Gods …I'm free later. I can guarantee I'm better than your desk.
physics_god	17:12 AST Subject: Re: Orifice of Devotion to the Gods Are you serious?
callmemajor	17:13 AST Subject: Re: Orifice of Devotion to the Gods Yeah. East Tower, Level 12, Room 14b. I think they used to do some woodworking in that section. Found it the other day. Work tables – they're wood.

Reading the comment, Rodney's eyes crossed a little. This was unexpected. And possibly stupid. Going would mean crossing a line.

Then again, he was having the hottest cybersex of his life with

callmemajor. Why not follow through to its logical extension? And Rodney had his kinks, and one of them included that the guy was able to work 'rough-hewn' into a conversation. Or a sex story, whatever was more convenient.

What the hell.

physics_god

17:16 AST
Subject: Re: Orifice of Devotion to the Gods

I'll bring the lube.

It wasn't like he'd be going into it with a blind eye. If Rodney was patient and enjoyed a sense of mystery, he wouldn't have bothered (weeks ago) to find out exactly who callmemajor was. He would have just enjoyed the sex. But patience was for the emotionally slow, and mysteries were made to be shredded to pieces.

Major Lorne was pretty hot, and unlikely to be setting Rodney up. And if he did, Rodney knew where he lived.

*****

There were communities for everything, including (unfortunately) both of Ford's ideas, and all of them were remarkably popular. The one community that had the most members (89.3% of the LantisJournal population), though, was

lantis_wank.

physicshairofdoom In: lantis_wank	12:18 AST Subject: King of the Rock   Sometimes I wonder if he will ever get any bigger in the head. But then I think this is not possible.   It is not frustration. It is something more than that. [10 comments] [Reply]
a_ford In: lantis_wank	12:23 AST Subject: Re: King of the Rock You sure you're not just jealous? Being king is pretty sexy.
physicshairofdoom In: lantis_wank	12: 31 AST Subject: Re: King of the Rock Nothing to be jealous of. Unless bad manners and receding hairline is something that we all should be wanting. I will show you sexy.
a_ford In: lantis_wank	12:25 AST Subject: Re: King of the Rock Being jealous of McKay is like being jealous of Chuck's ninja knowledge. There's no point, doc!
physicshairofdoom In: lantis_wank	12:26 AST Subject: Re: King of the Rock Am not jealous.
a_ford In: lantis_wank	12:28 AST Subject: Re: King of the Rock Chuck is to ninja as McKay is to wormhole physics.
ninja In: lantis_wank	12:30 AST Subject: Re: King of the Rock Damn straight.
lantis_wank_mod In: lantis_wank	12: 33 AST Subject: Re: King of the Rock Try not to flame our coworkers, please. This community is intended to be humourous, not cruel. Personal behaviours are fair game, but let's refrain from the digs at genetics. Some things can't be helped.
physicshairofdoom In: lantis_wank	12: 45 AST Subject: Re: King of the Rock Bad manners can be helped. Is not genetics.
lantis_wank_mod In: lantis_wank	12:36 AST Subject: Re: King of the Rock "I will show you sexy" Also, perhaps this train of discussion would be better situated at pegasus_encounters?
fights_with_sticks In: lantis_wank	12:42 AST Subject: Re: Pegasus_encounters Community pegasus_encounters is not intended to be a place for the discussion of sexual encounters. It is intended to be a community focused on cultural exchanges.
callmemajor In: lantis_wank	12: 46 AST Subject: Re: Cultural Exchanges Who knew cultural exchanges could be so fun? ...or so kinky?
fights_with_sticks In: lantis_wank	12: 48 AST Subject: Re: Cultural Exchanges I believe that I know who you are, callmemajor. Perhaps you will have less time for "fun" after our next training session.
lantis_wank_mod In: lantis_wank	12:50 AST Subject: Re: Cultural Exchanges Please refrain from threats of physical violence while posting in this community. I believe we have beatme_tieme for that.
fights_with_sticks In: lantis_wank	12:52 AST Subject: Re: Cultural Exchanges My apologies. I find that your technology and this electronic journal format encourages me to ignore my boundaries and my good manners.

All in all, though,

pegasus_encounters,

censored_missionreports,

lantis_wank,

melting_pot, and even

beatme_tieme were pretty normal communities that Rodney had expected, anticipated even. The weird ones, the ones he hadn't expected were beyond stupid, beyond moronic and well into the realm of intentional self-scarring.

They were communities like

deadlycuddly_offworld, the place for sharing photos of the animal-monster hybrids that tried to kill you on offworld missions. Which could have been educational and useful except that the posts went something like this:

taptapboom In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:16 AST Subject: Eats Brains So it tried (with some success) to peck through my skull in order to eat my brain. But it's kind of cool looking! And it runs fast! [441 Comments] [Reply] Comments:
weir In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:21 AST Re: Runs fast! How cute! I just want to hug it!
a_ford In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:23 AST Re: Fuzzy -and- Furry! It's like the best of every possible animal!
treble_clef In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:25 AST Re: Fuzzy -and- Furry! It eats brains. What could possibly make that positive in any universe?! I hate you all.
deadlycuddly_offworld_mod In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:28 AST Re: Fuzzy -and- Furry! Please refrain from personal attacks. Try flaming_you instead.
treble_clef In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:29 AST Re: Flaming Elizabeth, try to keep up. flaming_you became a homoerotic blind-date community a month ago. [This comment has been screened]
deadlycuddly_offworld_mod In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:31 AST Re: Flaming Rodney, you're not supposed to reveal a moderator's identity on LJ. Weren't you at the meeting when we decided that? Also, your "secret" journal has a really nice layout. Which template did you modify? [This comment has been screened]
treble_clef In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:34 AST Re: Flaming Please, I made this template. I'm willing to trade a customized copy of it for five packets of coffee. [This comment has been screened]
callmemajor In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:26 AST Re: Fast Yeah, no kidding it was fast. I think it caught up to the jumper. But it's true, it's pretty cute.
physics_god In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:27 AST Re: Fast I don't know whether to compliment you for at least noting some feature of relevance, or to be completely turned off because you think it's cute.
princess_peach In: deadlycuddly_offworld	03:29 AST Re: Fast be turned off.

When it came to repeat encounters with dangerous off-world lifeforms, most of the expedition would probably only remember "It's fuzzy -and- furry!" and die a painful, horrible death in which their brains were leaked all over the dirty off-world ground.

Rodney had, as usual, been the only one with enough foresight to make

offworld_and_deadly.

Elizabeth, similarly, had come up with a way to minimize the number of awkward conversations held in her office. She opened up

anon_advice under a secondary account

anon_advice_. Talk about boring. Regardless of any unimaginative naming tendencies though, the community became wildly popular, stupid and emabarrassing.

It was the only community on LJ that allowed anonymous postings where only the Elizabeth or sys-admin (Rodney) could ping the mac address.

But Rodney could ping any mac address.

anonymous In: anon_advice	06:32 AST Subject: Daydream Believer The last time I had a itch like this, I went to an anonymous, walk-in clinic. Obviously I don't have that option now (unless you count that Athosian witch doctor on the mainland, and I'm not quite that desperate yet) . Where can I get some black market medicated cream? [13 comments] [Reply to this Entry]
homeopathic In: anon_advice	6:33 AST Re: Witch Doctor "and I'm not quite that desperate yet" I do not believe the term "witch doctor" is either flattering or appropriate. I trade in entirely safe and natural home remedies based on centuries of Athosian lore and medical practice handed down through the generations. And I offer a 10% discount to expedition members.
anon_advice_mod In: anon_advice	6:35 AST Re: Witch Doctor Sales pitches should stay in one of the classifieds/sales communities, please.
pantyraid In: anon_advice	06:35 AST Re: Daydream Believer Storage closet, 42B, level 5, section G. Fifth box on the right, you'll know it by the ...label.

anonymous In: anon_advice	11:59 AST Subject: Herbal Essences P4X-891. I was high. And I think it was a plant (a really sexy plant with red petal/hair). The problem? It was good. Really good. And now it's all I can think about. I'm having dreams about green 'skin' and red petals. Daydreams, even. It's interfering in my work. What can I do? [69 Comments] [Reply to this Entry]
anon_advice_ In: anon_advice	12:03 AST Re: Herbal Essences It happens to the best of us. Off-world experiences are intense and entirely alien (pun intended!) after what we considered "ordinary" life on Earth or Athos. You've discovered something new and not neccessarily bad about yourself. You might want to try channeling it into a more acceptable goal. Have you tried posting in pegasus_encounters or the classified_information communities? Either one might provide you with a partner with a similar fetish; a way to channel your new desires. And I can guarantee it'll be... rewarding.
anon_advice_mod In: anon_advice	12:04 AST Re: Herbal Essences Please refrain from mentioning planet designations in your post in order to maintain your anonymity.

anonymous In: anon_advice	17:39 AST Subject: Thongs? I am new to this culture. Please explain to me the meaning of 'thongs' and why the mention of this word makes many of your marines act like small, naughty boys. [88 Comments] [Reply to this Entry]
callmemajor In: anon_advice	17:41 AST Re: Rowr! On thongs, check out this article in lantis_wikipedia. But if you have to ask--the marines who act like small, naughty boys don't get out enough. The ones who give you the eye don't wear any underwear.
pantyraid In: anon_advice	17:43 AST Re: Ultimate Wedgie callmemajor has it aright. While thongs have a certain appeal, you're probably better off going commando. I just hope that there's a reason that term sounds military. Rowr, indeed.
taptapboom In: anon_advice	17:45 AST Re: The goods There's a person in classified_information bartering hand-made thongs and other under-garments. If you're interested, check out this post.

Rodney had created

classified_information out of sheer desperation and he would never, ever admit it. Not under torture or threat of death would anyone ply the information from him.

You just didn't get between a man and his maple Caramilk bars when the Daedalus made a delivery.

sexual_chocolate In: classified_information	18:18 AST Subject: Caramilk bars WANTED: Full or large-size Cadbury Caramilk bar (original only, no dark choc/mint/maple/whatever.); please message sexual_chocolate for bartering. [1 Comment] [Reply to this Entry]
princess_peach In: classified_information	18:20 AST Re: Caramilk ill second that, but i need the maple caramilk bars. pls message me on my colleagues-only post.

tasteslike_not-chicken In: classified_information	14:45 AST Subject: Power Source WANTED: AA batteries. Edit: See second comment below. [12 Comments] [Reply to this Entry]
a_ford In: classified_information	14:51 AST Re: AA Batteries No reason specified? ^_~
tasteslike_not-chicken In: classified_information	14:53 AST Re: AA Batteries ALSO WANTED: flexible lover interested in toys.

fights_with_sticks In: classified_information	3:32 AST Subject: File Sharing FOR TRADE: Copy of music collection under the cut. [ I believe this genre is called 'boy band'. The collection contains music from many of your Earth nations. ] [54 Comments] [Reply to this Entry]

physics_god In: classified_information	13:11 AST Subject: 10th Doctor WANTED: Doctor Who, tenth doctor. I know someone has these files, and I'm willing to pay well for them. Take your pick: an answer to any pressing scientific question, my body, or possibly taking my place on an off-world mission. [27 Comments] [Reply to this Entry]

physicshairofdoom In: classified_information	10:03 AST Subject: Pants. WANTED: Pants. 34 inch waist. No questions. Edit: See fourth comment re: no questions. [113 Comments] [Reply to this Entry]

callmemajor In: classified_information	7:33 AST Subject: Spanking. WANTED: A spanking. Not for me. For someone else who needs it. Must be willing to sneak up on the recipient. [83 Comments] [Reply to this Entry]

pantyraid In: classified_information	9:11 AST Subject: Lynsay Sands Novels WANTED: Lynsay Sands novels (in hard or digital copy) in her vampire series, including but not limited to: Love Bites Tall, Dark and Hungry Single White Vampire A Bite to Remember A Quick Bite and Bite Me If You Can (to be released: Jan 17, 2007) [1 Comment] [Reply to this Entry]
physics_god In: classified_information	9:12 AST Re: Oh my god. Carson?!

*****

At least if he had to retire at some point (yeah, right.) he knew he could make a fortune on Earth selling the journal program. It was so user-friendly that even neanderthals like Ronon could use it.

taptapboom In: classified_information	01:13 AST Subject: Bottoms up! WANTED: Male, 28-34, light hair, dark eyes, open to/interested in D/s relationship with spunky military professional. [1 Comment] [Reply to this Entry]
caveman In: classified_information	1:15 AST Re: Bottoms up? Cadman, stop scaring the new recruits. We made a deal and I know the pudding cup guy.

   And then came the inevitable day when LantisJournal crashed. Rodney had been expecting it to happen eventually, but not so quickly. The storm meant everything had to be shut down, that was fine. But then the Genii had screwed around with some of the core databases before Sheppard had conveniently dealt with them.

   He'd never forgive that son of a bitch Kolya. The knife had been bad enough, but the hours of headaches trying to get LantisJournal up and running again? The dirty looks from Cadman and Lorne? The disappointment all over Ford's face? It was even worse than some ridiculous knife wound.

   Rodney held grudges. He held them for a long, long time.

   When LantisJournal was finally back online (along with 'gate control, though no one really seemed to care too much about that), people posted en masse to

lantisjournal_maintenance.com. Bitching, moaning, and next to no thank you comments (although the box of virtual chocolates from

callmemajor, and the bouquet of flowers from

princesspeach were a nice touch).

Rodney resolved to change the message at status.lantisjournal.com. In the future, instead of giving helpful updates, it would just read: I'm doing the best that I can, probably while critically injured, so keep your pants on and talk to each other face-to-face for once in your pathetic lives.

THE END

List of Characters and Communities by Username and Icon:

	The anon_advice com, run by Elizabeth. The only com with allowed anonymous posting!
	Taptapboom: Everyone's favourite tap-dancing explosives/bomb expert, Cadman.
	Callmemajor: Major Lorne, King of Lower Level Cultural Exchanges and Rough-Hewn Tables.
	Caveman: Ronon's little-used but witty LJ. The tag under his username (Rocks fall, everyone dies) has some people kind of freaked out. May or may not have offended the pudding cup guy by not knowing his name.
	The Anonymous User Icon, only for use in Anon_Advice.
	elvi$: Peter Grodin. You don't want to know anything else about this.
	A_Ford, AKA Aiden Ford.
	Homeopathic: The Athosian Witch Doctor. She offers a 10% discount to expedition members! (Off of the 50% increased fee for assholes in the expedition.)
	Ninja: Chuck the Canadian Gate Technician. Also one of six members in ninja_love
	P90AOK: Markham, who is also possibly a twelve year old girl.
	Weir: Elizabeth's only public/non-secret journal user. All entries are carefully constructed to be bland and non-offensive. Her real journal is non-networked and exists as a text file on her pocket PC.
	_mod: Elizabeth has a com-name_mod username for every community on lantisjournal and does her best to keep people in line.
	pantyraid: Carson Beckett's secret LJ identity as a lesbian who enjoys vampire romance novels. Badly disguised, but with a cute icon.
	physics_god: Rodney's original and unfortunately now "public" username. Has frequent hook-ups with callmemajor.
	princess_peach: John Sheppard. No one knows why he chose to be represented by the extra-girly Princess from various Mario games.
	physicshairofdoom: Radek Zelenka. Hangs out mostly on lantis_wank making fun of Rodney and hitting on various expedition members for fun.
	tasteslike_not-chicken: A genderless, random Athosian. Probably the only person with an actual secret identity as even Rodney doesn't care to look and see who this is.
	treble-clef: Rodney's actual "secret" LJ for anonymous posting now that physics_god is pretty publicly known.
	sexual_chocolate: Bates. 'Nuff said.
	fights_with_sticks: Teyla. She worries that she's been corrupted by the medium though, since it makes her more aggressive and forgetful of her manners.
	Communities
offworld_survival	Tips and tricks from the best of the off-world teams for coming back alive.
guns_and_me	Step-by-step guides, information, Q&A on the use of firearms in the Pegasus galaxy. Often features "stupid" questions.
pegasus_encounters	The sexual hook-ups com formerly intended to be about cultural exchanges.something
lantis_wank	For ranting about anything wacky, weird or wanky.
censored_missionreports	Primarily hosts sex stories about offworld missions, some real, some fake.
melting_pot	Terran, Athosian and Lantean recipe community. Strangely popular.
beatme_tieme	BDSM/physical abuse community.
deadlycuddly_offworld	Photos of cute but deadly offworld creatures.
flaming_you	Originally a place to post flames without moderation, it quickly became a homoerotic blind date com.
anon_advice	Elizabeth's Dear Jane column/com, where people can ask all sorts of embarrassing questions anonymously.
classified_information	Rodney's classified ads com.
lantis_wikipedia	The Atlantis Wikipedia site/com, including articles on other Pegasus Galaxy stuff.
lantisjournal_maintenance	Updates on changes, upgrades, new templates, etc for LJ.
offworld_and_deadly	Rodney's alternative to deadlycuddly_offworld
ninja_love	Elite ninja appreciation com.

Belatedly, Rodney said, "I'm actually surprised that

lantis_wank didn't become a com for sharing stories about jerking off."
"Pervert," Cadman snorted.